Tag Archives: publishing

Quietly Creeping

So I managed to make my deadline. My goal was to have this little book of short creepy stories published by September 30th. September 30th is when school starts for me and I knew if I didn’t have it published by then it would fall by the wayside and not get done until I had completed my Master’s program.

I’m proud say it’s done. It’s published. It’s ready and waiting to creep you out! You can buy it here.

Right now it’s just an ebook but I’m looking into making physical copies available as well.

The whole reason this book came about was because of my late husband Jordan. He was a writing enthusiast, but as far as I know, was never able to finish a story. While going through his things I found a metric ton of his writing, which included but was not limited to, poems, songs and the beginning of intricate, winding novels. I think if he’d had the discipline to sit down and write one it would have been picked up quickly and sold like gangbusters. This is not to say he wasn’t a disciplined person. He wanted to write a novel, it just wasn’t a huge priority. He was a talented man and he spread that talent over many mediums. He sometimes referred to himself as a Jack of all trades but a master of none.

One day I was reading through his many written words and I came across three stories that were similar in nature. They were dark, creepy and examined the differences between reality and fantasy. I remembered him talking about these stories. While I remembered the general gist of the stories I, of course, could not remember all their intricate details. I re-read the writing he had. I pulled them out and put them all together in a binder. I got out a notebook, highlighter and post-its and took on the task of combining and adding to the stories.

I anticipated writing a long mystery novel. What I came up with was another short story. At first I was annoyed. I already had a number of short stories I didn’t know what to do with. As I glanced over my folder of short stories I decided to re-read some of them. I realized they all shared a common theme, fear.

But not in the way you would expect. It was something more subtle. The White Room was written as I struggled with my beliefs. The Child and his Beast explores growing up and loosing something in the process. Oliver Waits for Olivia examines relationships and what might happen if what you thought was real was not. The Roommate delves into being alone and going crazy. Wake Up, 
Travis, which is the story that was born of Jordan’s writing is sort of the odd ball out. Although it does examine some fears, like not having control of your life and not being able to tell the difference between reality and fantasy, it does not directly reflect a fear I’ve had to face. But I still put it in because I realized something else as I re-read these stories. All of these stories were written right before or after Jordan entered my life. I decided right then to edit and compile them into a book of short stories.

I knew I could not in good conscience publish this book under my own name. Jordan’s influence was in the very souls of these stories, so I figured a nom de plum was in order. The nom de plume would be a combination of my name and Jordan’s to honor his role in  each of the stories. I know Jordan would love these stories because he had read all but two of them and had told me he loved them.

I hope he’s proud of what I’ve put together and thrilled that one of his stories has been published, even if it’s in a slightly different form than he expected.

Paper & A Mascot

You know what’s really funny is that before I started this blog I was already writing it. What I was doing was writing a post and instead of putting it up on the internets I was printing it out, making copies, putting them in coffee shops and mailing them off to friends. I even had my talented artist friend Harmony make me an adorable little mascot.

I’m going to call him Reginald, doesn’t he look like a Reginald? MAN! He’s so freaking CUTE!

He’s a Kangaroo Rat that’s all wet and sopping… cause he hangs out in Seattle… cause he moved there for… college. ANYway, I thought he was awesome and even put him on a t-shirt that I wore one time. I only wore it once cause it was after I started the blog and I was trying to get readers so I put the website on the t-shirt too, but then I felt like a tool wearing it cause it was my own website. Maybe if I had made a button instead, I love buttons. I could make mugs. Holy crap! I could do so much with him! I can see it now, it starts with buttons and mugs, then bookmarks, notebooks, stickers! The possibilities are endless! But then I’d be the tool with all my own paraphernalia. Maybe if I started a store online and sold that stuff. You all would buy something right? Then I wouldn’t be a total tool box.

Where was I going with this? Oh right, so I came across little Reginald here (seriously, don’t call him Reggie) while I was going through some old writing files. I have a bunch of old writing that I hang on to. It’s seriously the only thing I’m a total pack rat about, because a creative writing teacher once told me never ever to throw away any of your writing, even if you read it and it’s the most embarrassing thing ever. And boy do I have some embarrassing things, I was writing all through High School so I’ve got some real winners, but I will never throw them out. Even though they are ridiculously embarrassing, like your parents finding porn under your bed embarrassing. Which happened to me once, kind of. Wait, what was I saying?

Right, so old stories; I threw out one of my stories once. I thought it was the worst thing I’d ever written so I tore it out of my notebook and threw it away. Now I can’t even remember what made it so terrible and that drives me batty. Because who knows where inspiration is going to come from?! Maybe one day years from now I’ll be reading one of my terrible poems and it’ll inspire me to write something not terrible. Maybe I’ll write something amazing that will, in turn inspire several other people. You just never know, so I keep everything that I write. Then when I want to write something, but I’m feeling blocked I can go back and read what I’ve written in the past. That’s how I started writing Jude & the Zombies. I had been trying to write a decent zombie story for awhile and nothing was coming. So in addition to reading lots of zombie books, I read my own writing that I’d done. And poof, a story eventually bloomed and felt right.

I’m off on a tangent again. So I found Reginald in this file of stuff. I have files from when I was “publishing” this blog on paper. I was meticulous. I made a precise amount of copies and distributed them to a couple coffee shops and mailed some to “subscribers.” Looking back I feel sort of like an idiot. Why would I waste money and resources on something that very few people were reading? The owner of one of the coffee shops I was bringing them to said that a lot of people were reading them, but wouldn’t take them home. They would read it while they had a coffee then put it back. Which was nice. I’m glad they were reading it, but what was the point of making so many copies that weren’t being taken. It was silly. But I did it for ten weeks before Jordan asked me to stop wasting our money on Kinkos and stamps.

I think I was a little scared about starting a blog, because I had a couple already that no one read, so why would I start another one? I believe it was Jordan who pointed out that this blog would have a purpose. It had a theme, it wasn’t just a mishmash internal monologue that my first blog was, or a sporadically updated blog about being a starving writer that no one cared about. This was an actual thing.

I like to think that I haven’t strayed too far from the main topic of this blog. Overall it’s about me, my life, which I suppose would be interesting to some. I’m astounded that people read it and even equally astounded when a random person comes along and reads it. When they like a post, when they leave a comment, it’s amazing! I’m surprised by the community that exists with blogging. These other bloggers aren’t people I feel I’m competing with they’re fellow writers, and geeks. They’re friends and supporters. I look forward to reading their posts and laughing out loud at their wit.

Turning a bit sappy in here. I’m just glad that Jordan convinced me to start another blog, because even if the journey has been long and sometimes hard, it’s also been so rewarding. So thank you. Thank you all my readers! I love you. I really do.

My Fellow Writers

I call myself a writer, because I write fictional stories, memoir, and blog.  I’m not paid for it, but I hope to be some day. Writing is my passion, it’s how I process life.  I always feel so much better after I write something, almost anything.  I’m convinced someday I will find my calling and my writing will be more than a passing fancy or hobby.  When I’m not writing like a mad woman, I scour the internet, books, and any other resource I can get my hands on to find that ever elusive outlet for my writing.  In most of my internet scouring I’ve found the vast amounts of writers a bit intimidating.  There are so many people out there trying to get published that it’s discouraging.  I got to thinking today about those people.   These people claim to be working on their writing, searching for an agent, or a publisher.  Their comments on forums and message boards are always long winded and haughty; full of what seems to be knowledge regarding the publishing world.  I wondered how much each of those people truly spend doing honest to God writing, or real research towards getting their work out there.

I’m sure many of them are doing well as writers, or editors, but with so many responses, some as simple as “I totally agree with what so-and-so said” it seems they just sit at their computer all day ready to argue, agree or start a fight.  Maybe it’s their “break time” when they allow themselves to spend time on silly writers websites.

Don’t get your panties in a twist now.  I know there a great many excellent writers websites out there.  I visit some from time to time, but on the whole, many of those websites tell you what you already know.  Writing is a difficult career.  It’s nearly impossible to get published.  Even if you’re one of the most brilliant writers on the scene since Joyce, Hemingway or insert your favorite author name here, it’s still all too difficult to get published.  It’s obvious in the amounts self publishing sites.  The truth is as long as you’re willing to put in a few bucks you can get your book published.  It doesn’t even have to be good. You don’t even have to edit it!  You can publish any piece of shit you happen to type out on any given day.  I believe that it’s because of this that so many doors are being closed on decent writers.  No one wants to take a chance on an unknown writer because of all the market saturation that’s going on.

Maybe I’m the one that’s delusional and I can’t see the flaws in my own writing.  Perhaps I missed my true calling or perhaps I don’t really have one and I just am.  That’s a depressing thought considering how long I’ve been writing.  Oh well, at least I know there’s always self publishing.