Remember back when I wrote about OkCupid and how I didn’t like it? Well I’ve been feeling sort of lonely again. It’s frustrating that it comes and goes like this, but that’s the way it is I guess. I haven’t been meeting anyone new and it seems that all my friends only know men who are unavailable. So I am at a loss. I didn’t want to join another online dating thing. The main reason being that it makes me feel super duper shallow.
When you have an account on OkCupid there is a lot of information about someone’s personality and how well you “match up” with them. It’s a lot of questions about morality, spirituality and who you are as a person. Of course, like most people, if I’m not physically attracted to a person I’m not going to date them. The way OkCupid does “matching” made it feel like if I didn’t want to date someone based on their interests and personality then I was shallow, because looks matter to me. In reality looks matter to everyone but no one will admit that.
If you’re out at a bar or a concert or art gallery opening, whatever, you wouldn’t strike up a conversation with the intent to get a number if you didn’t find the person attractive. Somehow that’s ok. But on OkCupid I felt like I had to give my matches a chance whether I found them attractive or not. No one ever called me shallow or anything like that, it’s just a feeling I got.
So I don’t want to join OkCupid again. I don’t know where to go to meet men and what’s more, it’s hard for me to get out on a regular basis. I was talking to a friend about this. She told me about an app she’d heard about called Tinder. I gave it a try.
So far Tinder is sort of cool. What it does is shows you pictures of people, their first name and age. You can either like them or pass on them. I like Tinder because it’s more like real life. And it’s all anonymous, I don’t see who is disliking me or liking me unless we match up. So if I think someone is cute and they think I’m cute and we both hit the like button then we can message each other. I’ve had a handful of matches and messaged a couple but so far haven’t had any responses.
I’ve only been doing it for a day or two but so far the experience has been fine. Since it’s anonymous there’s no pressure to like someone just because they liked you. There is one thing that weirds me out a little. The app uses Facebook, so it shows some of your interests and the photos it shows are your most recent profile pictures. In addition it shows any mutual friends. The mutual friends thing is weird. I don’t know why that weirds me out, it just does.
I have not expectations for this app really. I did when I started OkCupid and those were hopelessly dashed, so I’m just trying to have a good time and meet people. We’ll see what happens.
Has anyone else used this app? Did you meet anyone awesome? If you’re single and looking for someone give it a try and tell me what you think!