This week I was introduced to Laci Green’s, Sex + Youtube Channel. She is my new favorite thing. She’s funny, honest, insightful and makes light of some interesting issues. One issue that smacked me right in my hater face was the one about Girl on Girl Hate.
She talks about how girls are always hating on each other and why that may be. It’s really good, seriously go watch the video (click the link above to watch it). The reason it resonated and humbled me was because I am so, so guilty of this. As women, and I think, as mom’s we tend to sit there judging each other when we should be supporting and lifting each other up. Because come on, parenting is wicked hard, the last thing we need is to be judged. But I’m not going to talk about parenting. I’m going to talk about the reason I felt so shamed by this video.
Somewhat recently I was interested in a man. We were hanging out, getting to know each other, however he made it clear early on that he wasn’t interested in dating. I thought I would be ok with just being friends, but it became apparent that I couldn’t do that. My heart was too far into wanting him as a boyfriend. So we stopped hanging out. It sucked to loose a friend, but that’s how it goes sometimes.
So fast forward a couple months, I’m going out with my sister and she warns me that this man now has a new “lady friend.” They’re not officially together, but they might as well be. It was hard to see them together. I was jealous, but managed to keep it together.
The next outing was not so successful. I’d had a bit of “liquid courage” and started talking about how much better I was than this girl. This girl whose name I don’t even know, who I’ve never spoken to, who I’ve barely even glanced at. I realized, after watching Laci Green’s video, what I was doing. I was totally hating on someone I didn’t even know, for something that wasn’t even her fault.
It’s not her fault that that man didn’t want to date me. It’s not her fault that he decided he was ready to date when he met her. She didn’t steal him away, we weren’t even talking when they started seeing each other.
After my night of girl hate, I decided I needed to make a real effort to not do it. It’s hard because a lot of the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it. But I’m determined not to hate on my fellow females. We’ve got plenty to contend with already without having to fight each other!
Do you any other ladies find themselves guilty of such crimes? What do you do to help you not hate on your fellow females?