The Online Dating Scene

I’ve been thinking about online dating lately. I’ve been thinking maybe I’ll try it out. I tried it once about a year ago, but I used the Geek to Geek to website, which in theory sounds awesome! In practice not so much. I got lots of emails from men who reminded me a lot of my ex-boyfriend, and God knows I don’t want to date anyone remotely like him ever again. I also didn’t really participate in it. I didn’t look for guys, I just put my profile up and waited to see what would happen. I guess I thought my combination of hotness and geeky interests would bring the men flocking, but it did not.

So if I’m being honest I never really gave online dating the “good ol’ college try.” So I’m thinking now is the time.

You might wonder why now is the time. To put it simply I don’t get to go out and meet people in person very often. It seemed last fall/winter I was going out and meeting people all the time. With the arrival of summer getting out has gotten more challenging. Lots of my sitters have their own families and families get pretty busy during the summer.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not sitting at home like some sort of shut in. It’s just difficult to flirt with men while holding a three year old with crusty milk around his mouth. It’s especially difficult to find men to flirt with when all the places you can go with a three year usually cater to families, so all the men there are unavailable.

Thing is I’m getting really lonely. I have great friends that love me. I have an amazing family that supports me. I’ve actually stayed pretty busy this summer, with camping, play dates and pretty soon, heading south to Mexico. But something is missing and I’m not going to lie, that something is a man. It’s not as if I NEED a man. I’m not going to die of loneliness or anything. I can get along on my own just fine. It’s just that I WANT a man.

I want someone to be really excited about me. I want someone to bring me flowers and surprise me. I want someone to go out with and I want someone to stay in with. And in order to find that I have to date some folks. In order to date people I need to meet them and I’m not meeting any single folks hanging out with my married friends or at the freaking grocery store.

So right now this seems like a decent option. Am I nervous? Sure. But not any more nervous than I feel when I go to a party knowing only one person. You don’t need to worry. I’ll be cautious, I’ll use good judgement and I won’t meet anyone in person without telling at least five people where I’m going to be.

What do you think of online dating? Have you ever done it before? Any recommendations for sites? Have a strong opinion about it? Tell me! I *heart* comments.

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22 responses to “The Online Dating Scene

  1. You go girl! Try OKCupid, unless you want to pay money, then eHarmony (I’ve never tried the later but I’ve heard good things).

  2. 2nd nod for OKC. I’ve used other sites in the past and OKC just gave better results. (That and answering endless questions was a way to pass the time some Friday nights.) Still need to be careful though. A few of the girls I dated were full on nutjob, wackos. And I’ve heard plenty of stories associated with the site. But, in the end, it’s how Samantha and I met. And it’s been great! Still crazy about her as if we’d just had our first date! 🙂

  3. I think online dating is a great idea. I know I think 5 or 6 people that have met their now spouses online. Most of the people I know used eHarmony or Match (or Catholic Singles but I’m guessing that’s not for you 😉 ), but my dad met his now fiance on PlentyofFish but that site seems a little skeezy (which is probably why my dad used it).

  4. lol i tried eharmony and match.com if you want the low down hit me up lol

  5. I second OKCupid. I met Stu there! I also met weird people there, but you have to look past them 🙂 I liked that it was a little nerdier than other dating sites (and that it is free!).

  6. Staci! I have a few friends who have said good things about okcupid and (that its as addictive as facebook) Sounds like you have like you have the right attitude about it!

  7. I have also heard good thing about eHarmony, and know couples who wed after meeting there:)

  8. My mom met her husband on match.com, my sister says plenty of fish.com if her fave!

  9. I tried eHarmony but found it took FOREVER to get replies from guys on there, even if they initiated the contact. I never ended up on any dates with guys from there. If you want to get out quick and go on dates, try Howaboutwe.com. It’s geared towards finding people who are interested in the same sorts of dates you are, and then actually going out. I’ve been on a few dates with guys from there, but nothing panned out.

    I add my vote to OkCupid as well. It’s nice that you can chat and send unlimited messages for free. I actually just went on a great date last night with a guy I met on there. Just be really clear ahead of time what your dealbreakers are, and actually look at guys’ answers to questions, cause I’ve had some people that the site told me were like 89% matches who I would never in a million years date.

  10. I’ll add my vote for OkCupid. I know it’s been recommended a lot already, but it is the best one I’ve found out there. It’s free which is actually a really good thing, other than it not costing you money, it also means that the people on there actually are on there and can read and respond to messages. THe problem with the pay sites is that when they do their “free weekends” a ton of people create profiles, but then never pay for the service, so I’ve had friends who have to send out hundreds of emails just to get one or two responses because most the people who have profiles won’t respond because they haven’t paid to read their messages.

    Also, I know everyone frowns on it, but Craigs List can be a great place to just throw up an ad and then chat with a couple people for the night. Sometime you meet them in person, many times not. It’s quite easy to weed out the creeps, and I’ve had some GREAT experiences from CL, including my current almost 3 year relationship. If you want pointers, or are interested in my experiences, let me know. My main advice is be proactive. Send lots of messages to anyone who interests you and then go from there. The boys who send out messages on these sites are often times creeps, responding to eveyone new who joins. If you’re doing the one selecting, you’ll have much better results.

    Go get’em Staci! I’m so glad to hear you’re jumping into the pool on this. You deserve it!!

  11. I would echo a lot of everyone else’s responses: know what you want and be proactive. If you haven’t already, you should read “Boundaries in Dating” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It’s a great book that doesn’t bash you over the head, but instead gives you some things to think about.

    Match.com is really just a filtered version of Craiglist. Sure, it’s cheaper than eHarmony, but probably not worth it.

    I’ve heard good things about OKCupid, but haven’t actually used it.

    eHarmony seems to be hit or miss with people. I would say give it a try for a couple of months and see what comes from it. If it seems to be working for you, then keep at it. If your experience is not so good, cut your losses and move to a different platform (e.g. OKCupid). The downside is that it is expensive, three months is $120. You might be able to fish around for a discount code though.

  12. I tried eHarmony a couple of times and never met anyone on it. To me it just wasn’t worth the price. I did meet a couple of really nice people from plenty of fish, but there are a lot of skeezy people as well. Good luck!! 🙂

  13. I got a stalker from eharmony, like a legit one. Be careful

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