This is a rant, just fyi.
Back in the day when I was married, Jordan asked me why I don’t wear dresses more. I believe I told him I was most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I also mentioned that Seattle is cold for most of the year so why would I want to freeze my legs off by wearing a dress or skirt? He replied that summer is nice. True it is, I agreed. However, during the summer when we went out we would frequent places like Greenlake. Normally we’d play a little ultimate frisbee or lounge on a blanket reading. I asked if he would be ok with all of Greenlake catching glimpses of my lovely lingerie? He said he would not be ok with that and left the issue alone. I know that Jordan loved me the way I am because he only mentioned it once and didn’t push me.
This issue came up again while I was dating someone else. I wonder if this person liked me for who I am at all, or if he was just trying to mold me into his idea of a perfect woman. He told me he was dissatisfied with the length of my hair, the size of my boobs and the way I dressed. I was a little confused by his dissatisfaction because when we met I was not dressed in a ball gown, with tiny boobs and a short pixie haircut. I was in jeans and a t-shirt, with long hair. As for my breasts, it’s not like I had them strapped down or anything.
A few weeks after we started dating, he mentioned that I never dressed up. He was not as graceful about it as Jordan was. And honestly I don’t know what he was talking about. We were coming off the holiday season where there was actually lots of dressing up what with all the parties, church services and the like. I’d been dressing up a lot. Apparently it wasn’t good enough.
This issue was even brought up by my sister and mother. When that show “What Not to Wear” came on they said they were going to nominate me for it. They said later it was just so that I could go on a shopping spree and get new clothes.
What the crap?! I don’t dress poorly. I don’t know why people think that. Just because I wear jeans and a t-shirt all the time? I’m just casual! It’s not as if I’m traipsing around Seattle in sweatpants and a frumpy sweater (that outfit is for lounging at home on a lazy Sunday).
I’m not a freaking executive, or an office drone. I don’t have to dress up for work so why would I don a pencil skirt and button up blouse to hang out with my preschooler all day long? That would be dumb cause by the end of the day my skirt would be ripped and the blouse would be stained.
I admit I have a lot of t-shirts. It’s because I like them. They are easy to wear, I don’t have to worry about my bra showing or a boob popping out. I get to show off my geekiness with t-shirts, which I LOVE to do by the way. If my jeans get something on them it’s not the end of the world cause they’re just jeans and really easy to wash! I like to do my laundry in one big load. (Save the freaking Earth and all that!) I don’t want to have to do seventy tiny loads because I have a bunch of high
quality maintenance clothes.
Also fancy clothes have fancy prices. I don’t like clothes shopping. Half the fancy clothes I buy I don’t wear. There’s no occasion for me to wear them. Why would I dress up if I feel fine in my jeans and t-shirt? Seriously I feel damn sexy in my outfit today which is my black Star Wars t-shirt and a pair of flared blue jeans. “Hot damn I look good,” is what I’m usually thinking when I get dressed in the morning.
All that said, I do enjoy dressing up every now and then. I loved dances and proms growing up cause I got to wear a pretty dress, and fancy shoes and put on makeup and get all girly with my girlfriends. All that fancy can be fun on occasion. But it’s a lot of work and like I said before, I don’t need to get fancy to feel good about myself.
Sometimes it’s the fancy clothes that make me feel insecure. Probably because with fancy clothes you have to make sure things match and look good together and what jewelry will look best and what shoes and how is the bag going to look and how should I do my hair and what makeup should I wear and will it all look ok or will I look like I’m trying too hard? See? A lot of work. I don’t like to put that much work into what I wear every single day. So I only do it occasionally.
And if you don’t like that, well, we probably shouldn’t date then.
If you’re wondering where I get my t-shirts here are my favorite places online:
And then on the rare occasion when I do buy a dress this is where I go: