Where Boys Fear to Tread

(The title of this blog is the name of a Smashing Pumpkins song. It has nothing to do really with this post, I just like the sound of it.)

I owe you guys a real post after my teaser Vegas one. Truth is I will never post about Vegas, because what happens in Vegas stays there! Unless it ends up on Facebook…which much of it did. So I guess there’s not much to tell.

And honestly I have been pondering a lot lately, but it’s been mostly pity party woe is me, why am I lonely spinster at 30 stuff and I don’t want to bring you guys down. So what should I post about?

I thought a little about celebrity crush lists or whatever. You know that list that a lot of people have, the one that has 3-5 famous people they are allowed to sleep with even if they are in a relationship. I had one, at one point. But I thought about it and it seems like a silly idea. Because celebrities are just people, people who may be in a relationship when you meet them. And seriously, what famous person is going to find a fan so captivating that they’ll go to bed with them? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being cynical.

I’ve been wicked cynical this week. Being sick does that to me. I don’t get sick often but when I do, I go all out. I had a sore throat, chills, fever, aches and couldn’t get enough sleep. I managed to kick it by Wednesday mostly. Now there’s just a little cough left. I hope Jack doesn’t get sick.

I also thought about posting about how awesome Jordan was. Cause he was truly outrageous, but I decided not to. I’m not sure why, it just seemed…like not good timing? I honestly don’t know why I think that, but something tells me not to do it, so I won’t.

I’ve been thinking about God lately and what I believe.

I’ve been thinking about money and how it totally blows.

I’ve been thinking about how having a job would enable me to meet more people. I’d like to have a job. Just a part time barista thing, something like that. But I don’t think it would would out financially (see the above thought). I’d have to find someone to hang out with Jack for free to make it worth it and I think that would make finding a sitter when I actually want to go out with the new friends I make even more difficult.

Having a job would be different than doing meet up groups, because having a job makes me interact with people.  I’ve done meet up groups and I’m too shy. I huddle in a corner and try to smile, but basically I’m afraid of making a total ass out of myself.

I thought about boys…way too much. And then I got super bummed out. Which led to the pity party, self loathing, spinster in her 30’s thoughts.

Now I’m on my way to my in laws to meet a baby horse and probably drink with my sister in law. Healthy habits!

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One response to “Where Boys Fear to Tread

  1. Chin up my love! I feel that way for tons of reasons. Mostly money keeping me from my friends and family… 😦 you are not a spinster, you are an amazing single mother and it will pay off one day, I promise. How do I know? CAUSE I AM NEVER WRONG!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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