Single Fathers

Attempting to date again has made it very plain that I am a huge, gigantic hypocrite. I’m not afraid to say why, I’ll announce this to the whole of the onlines. When it comes to me, I think men that I’m interested in dating should not be intimidated by the fact that I have a son. I’ve noticed recently though, that I find myself not considering single fathers an eligible person for me to date. And why is that you may ask? Don’t you have much in common being single parents? I’m sure we do, but the fact that the single father has a child or children is extremely intimidating to me. Especially if they’re daughters. Daughters are wicked scary.

I was on a dating site for a little while. That was an odd experience in itself and so not my cup of tea. I found that if someone showed interest in me and had a child I was way less likely to respond to their interest. Which is silly because you know beggars can’t be choosers. Apparently I can be and honestly, I think most people are this way too.

We all have our standards, or a list of things we hope to find in a potential significant other. I’ve started to feel a little guilty about this standard, because it is quite hypocritical. Here I stand holding my son’s hand and thinking I’d never date anyone who has children. Maybe it’s that I think it would be too complicated, with the other grandparents and moms. Maybe I’m just too tired to try to impress a man and his kids. Maybe I just want to have all the attention on myself, or Jack and myself. There are countless reasons I might not want to date a single father, but I’m wondering to myself it that’s even fair? I know I’m allowed to date or not date whoever I want for whatever reasons I decide.

I suppose what really bothers me is I know there are men out there who think the same way I do; whether they have kids themselves is irrelevant. It makes me angry to think I’m being excluded because of my son, who is actually super awesome! But then I think at least they aren’t wasting my time. Because if they can’t love my son, who cares if they can love me. Perhaps that’s what a single father I decide not to date would think. I don’t know why I’m worrying about this, it’s not as if they’re lining up outside my door or anything… single fathers or otherwise.

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One response to “Single Fathers

  1. staci, i’m quite sure i’ve never met such an authentic, honest young woman … i’ve always said admitting what i think is the first step toward potentially changing it, if need be … so if it’s a perspective that needs changing you’re already one step ahead and i do know you can count on the faithfulness of God to bend your heart toward His plan and partner for you. He knows your deepest heart, after all. 🙂 Meanwhile, thanks so much for challenging the rest of us to be authentic, too.

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