I say I’m going to do things and never do them. I talk endlessly about the stuff I want to do and nothing ever happens with it. A good example would be my writing. How long has it taken me to finally get on a regular schedule with this blog? About three or four years. How long have I been writing? Since I was five years old. How long did it take me to get published? I’m 29 and finally published myself this year. FIVE YEARS OLD!! How did I never submit angsty teen poetry to my high school literary journal? Even after my creative writing teacher told me I had talent, I loved it, but what did I do? Nothing. For years. Nothing.
It’s absurd that it took me so long to understand, really understand that life is short and you don’t have infinite time in which to accomplish all the things you want to do. No, not everything can wait until tomorrow. Do some stuff today, what else are you doing anyway? So what the hell? How do I change who I am? With baby steps. First step, dancing. Yes, dancing.
I’ve been talking about learning to swing dance for years. In fact Jordan and I talked about how we were going to start taking lessons and we never did. (Honestly they were mostly for me cause he already knew how and I’m not the greatest dancer.) So after my parenting class ends I’m going to seriously look into swing dance classes and make no excuses! I want people (coughCassiecough) to hold me accountable. It sounds dumb, but seriously if I don’t have someone (or many someones) breathing down my neck I will talk about it for years but never set a dancing foot on the floor. The thing is I actually really want to do it. Swing dancing looks so fun, and how rad would it be, if I could randomly grab a guy and start dancing? So rad!
It would also be good to have a regular time I get out of the house without my child. I think I need a regular date night, except it would be for myself, a mommy date. A time when I can get out, be an adult, talk to other adults and not worry about whether Jack is staying in bed or not. When I get those rare nights out I feel so much better; I think it makes me a better parent. So for the sake of my son, I’m going to go out and dance my ass off.