“Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” Ever heard that phrase? I have, but always in movies, or from friends poking fun, never as a serious statement. Lately I’ve started to take it more seriously.
I haven’t been single long, only about a year and a half now. In that time I’ve come to hate “the Game.” During my new singlehood I’ve had one relationship and two “things.” They weren’t relationships. I’m not sure what they were, but that’s not the point. The point is, that in all three of those instances there was “the Game.”
We all play it. You can lie and say you don’t, that’s your prerogative. I used to do that, say I was a straight shooter, always up front with what I wanted, never attempting to manipulate or change anyone. It was only recently that I realized I actually do play games. Just because you don’t realize you’re playing “the Game” doesn’t mean you’re not.
Things start simply enough; you like a person and they either like you back or not. If they do like you back, things progress and then gradually “the Game” starts. For me it usually starts when I think I really like someone. I start over analyzing everything, every word, every action, every unanswered call. You may think this is just part of being a girl and sure, in part it is. But the other part is played by the second party and thus “the Game” that you thought you didn’t play begins. There are several different “Games.” Here are just a few of my least favorite.
Person A will pursue Person B on a regular basis, showering them with compliments and touting their own good qualities until Person B finally says yes to a date or whatever it was they were pursuing. Suddenly Person A looses interest and you never hear from them again.
The String Along
In this game Person A and Person B are both interested in each other. But for whatever reason Person A can’t seem to make up their mind about things. They are constantly changing their tune between, “let’s be together,” to “I never want to see you again,” to “let’s be friends” and back again. It goes on this way until someone has the wherewithal to just walk away and treat it as a bad job.
The Quiet Game
I. Hate. This. Game. Like most of the “Games” it starts nicely. It seems you’ve found a good one, a diamond in the rough as it were. Things go well for awhile then something shifts … but no one says anything. Person A and Person B are thinking separate thoughts and wondering what the other is thinking or assuming they know, but nothing is being said. Suddenly this person you thought was wonderful is playing games with your heart and your head. Not wanting to come off like a crazy person you continue to not say anything until things just disintegrate.
These “Games” are stupid. I hate playing them, I hate being played and I’m tired of how they make me feel, which is sad, unattractive and generally lame. I have so many other, better things to do with my time, like writing, knitting, playing with my son, watching anime, heck even getting my Comicon art framed seems so much better than playing these ridiculous games.
So I decided something this week. I’m not going to play anymore. I’m not sure entirely what that means yet. If I’m off the market for the time being or if I’m just going to strive towards being more honest and less afraid of the reactions that honesty might get. Or maybe it means just getting better control of my heart, not letting it run away with things all the time. All I know is that I hate “the Game” and I’m becoming less and less fond of “the Player” as well.
I’m done, I don’t want to play anymore. I know that means I’ll never win, but I’m so tired of loosing.