What’s so frustrating is I’ve been this way my whole life. You’d think by now I’d have figured out a way to deal with it. You would think that I’d found a way to let out my inner extrovert at the drop of a hat, but I haven’t. It’s always the same:
Friend 1: Staci, this is my friend Bob! I’ve told him all about you!
Staci: Hi Bob, nice to meet you.
Bob: Hi! I’ve heard you’re really funny!
Staci: …Ha! Yeah…
And then silence between me and Bob for the rest of the evening.
You’d think that in that situation maybe it was the expectation of being funny right off the bat, that put me off. But really, I can’t even come up with some lame joke? So maybe in the situation I was just caught off guard, but then there’s this situation:
Friend 1: Staci, this is my friend Cindy.
Staci: Hi Cindy! How are you?
Cindy: I’m good! Are you having fun at this party?
Staci: I sure am.
And then looking around the room awkwardly. Until I have a second martini then suddenly Cindy and I are best friends. The problem with this is that the next day, even though we friend each other on Facebook, we can’t remember what we talked about or why we connected so well. So at the next party we approach each other awkwardly and make small talk, until we have a second martini and the process repeats.
I don’t like being awkward around new people. I know in my head that they are just people and I don’t have to impress them. But I still find myself totally uncomfortable waiting for the awkwardness to go away so I can be normal again.