Monthly Archives: May 2011

Phoenix Comicon 2011

I wanted to go day by day and give you a run down of what Connie, Sara and I did during Comicon. But all the days have begun to run together and separating them out is proving difficult. So I suppose I will just give you a few highlights.

Guests & Panels

The guest I was most excited for was Wil Wheaton. I like Wil mostly for his performance in Stand By Me and his writing. I’ve seen a few episodes of Next Generation but I’m not terribly familiar with it. The problem with me is I get star struck when I meet famous people. I wish I didn’t because I’d love to be that cool fan that talks to them like they’re a person instead of getting all flushed and sheepish. I had a couple things I wanted to chat with him about quickly since I’m a writer as well, but I let my nerves get the better of me. I was second in line and I felt like I should hurry it up as well, so I just bought a print, had him sign it and scurried away. He did compliment my t-shirt, which made me happy. I rode on a giddy fangirl cloud for awhile after that. That night I also went to see Storytime with Wil Wheaton. He was very funny, of course. He read some fan fiction he wrote, an excerpt from Memories of the Future Vol. 1 and some rough drafts from Memories of the Future Vol. 2.

I had intentions for meeting other folks, but I don’t like to have to pay to meet people or take pictures with them. So I didn’t really meet anyone else. Although I did hear a rumor that it was Leonard Nimoy’s last public appearance ever. Connie heard that from three different people, so it must be true.

I went to one other panel and that was one on The Guild. Sandeep Parikh and Jeff Lewis hosted that one. It was funny for awhile, but the room was packed and a bit stuffy, so I ended up leaving a few minutes early to beat the crowd. I decided my favorite place at this Con was the exhibition hall. There was tons of panels to go see, but none of them really jumped out at me. So I mostly stayed downstairs.

Our Neighbors

We had a table next to Inch by Finch (Patrick Finch) and Hero Comics. Hero Comics had a couple artists at their table. One of which was Vince DePorter, who illustrates the Spongebob Squarepants comic books and worked on the Scooby Doo comics for awhile as well. Both Patrick and Vince were awesome! Not only were they great artists but they were nice guys, so we got to chat with them a bit.

Artist Alley

I loved having an exhibitor badge, not only did we get to go in the exits and go to the exhibition hall early, but we also had a place for some downtime. Since there was three of us you could be behind the table and not engage with the people walking by. Another nice thing about having the exhibitor badge was chatting with other exhibitors as I walked around. It gives you something to talk about when  you see the exhibitor badge, you can ask about what they’re working on.

I actually made a new friend! Which is really unusual for me. I was browsing around one afternoon and stopped at this booth to admire some sketches of a cute kitty. I got to talking to the girl behind the table, Nina, and we talked about the comics she had and what we were working on over at our table. I actually ended up buying all three of the comics she had for sale and they were actually really good. I’m convinced that that probably wouldn’t have happened if I had been wearing a normal attendee badge.

The entire experience was much different than my first comicon experience. In fact I think I prefer being an exhibitor. That’s not to say I didn’t have a good time at my first comicon, I did. I guess what I liked best was the freedom I felt as an exhibitor. There were still rules and regulations you have to follow of course, but it felt like I was part of a club or something. It was also nice to be able to see all the costumes go by, except the guy in the gold, skintight pants…that was a tad disturbing.

Phoenix Comicon

I’ve been a tad busy helping my friend Connie and her friend Sara with their booth at Phoenix Comicon, so I don’t have a post ready. I’m hoping to get something together by Monday. I can tell you it will be an overview of my experience behind the booth, and of the Con itself. So see you all Monday!

Call of the Gypsy

One thing Jordan and I talked about a lot but never actually got to do was driving around the country, gypsy style in a VW Bus.

Yes, this was something that was actually discussed at length. We had even gone so far as to research the cost of a VW Bus. Our plan was to store all our stuff, probably in his parents barn, pack what we needed, get a dog and live out of the bus for a year, camping, traveling and experiencing America in a truly unique way. We planned to do random things for money, like selling crap I knit or wrote. Or stopping in one place for a period of time and doing odd jobs around town. Jordan even contemplated offering financial services but then realized it would seem pretty shady since we’d live in a van…

As unrealistic as this sounds it was something I was really excited about. I know Jordan was too. Both of us, I believe, had wandering hearts and were happiest when we were traveling. The destination wasn’t too important, it was the journey. During our epic road trip the things that I remember and treasure most are the things that didn’t really make it into his blog posts. The fact that we only brought nine CD’s to listen to…on a cross country road trip, only nine CD’s. The road signs we saw, the conversation in the car about life, love and our future son.

This gypsy dream is now lost. It’s sad, but it’s true. I can not do this on my own! It would be dangerous for a woman to take her toddler son on the road gypsy style all by her lonesome; my father would flip out, not to mention everybody else I know.

I guess what I’m taking away from this reflection is to not let things hold me back. If there’s something I want to do or try, the best time is now. I know I’ve been harping on this a lot lately but that’s because it’s always on my mind. Take advantage of every sunny day, because you never know when the rain is going to start again. Especially during Spring in Seattle.

Anger Issues

Going about my business today I realized it was Friday. My actual thought was ‘Holy crow! It’s Friday and I haven’t written a post yet!’ So I began to ponder my life, which seems to be something I’ve been doing a lot lately. I started to think about anger, mostly because my son happened to be screaming in frustration from the backseat. I said to him, “I’m sorry you’re frustrated. I know how that feels.”

After I said that I started to think about it more. I tend to be a very emotional person. It’s true that I have a bit of a temper. I’m not one for holding grudges, but I sometimes do. The more I thought about anger and how that plays into the grief process the more I realized, I’m still really angry at God.

It’s not as bad as it was. It’s not as if I’m walking through my days blinded by rage, but there’s hollow place in my heart and I’m mad about it. I think the thing that makes me so angry is I followed all the rules. I found a good husband, I even saved myself for him. We got married and had a kid. Jordan even went into the ministry and was serving God in amazing ways, reaching so many kids and changing lives. So it makes no sense that he would take him away. I did every thing right and this is what I get?

It’s hard not to hold a grudge when something like that happens. It makes you question your whole way of life. It makes you wonder what the point of it all is. But it also made me take a good hard look at my life. I know there were things Jordan wanted to to that he never got the chance to achieve. That has made me aware of the fact that most of my life I’ve been sitting around waiting for life to happen to me. I’m beginning to realize if I want something to change I have to be the one to do it. I know I’ve talked about this before, but it’s really been on my mind as I think about moving, writing and raising my son.

I’m trying to be aware of my anger as I think about those things though. I’m trying to make the right choices without making them out of anger or spite. I believe I’ve been doing a good job of that. I truly believe that even though I am an emotional person, I can still make good decisions. And I am working on my anger issues, just so no one worries.

Painfully Shy

Wanna know a fun fact about me? I am painfully shy around new people. Before anyone gets crazy and shouts “Staci you are not shy!!” let me say, I know that. Once I get to know folks and am comfortable around them I am no longer shy and even a bit funny and outgoing. It’s those dreaded “new people” that make me clam up and retreat into my shell.
I’ve always been like this. When it comes to meeting new people, I have tons of anxiety issues. When new people are in the room and I’m meant to meet them I suddenly become aware of how much cooler these new people are than I am. I’m convinced my arms and hands look stupid any way I hold them, my hair looks totally lame and everything I say seems so obnoxious. So, to avoid being noticed and judged I stay silent and glance around hoping to find at least one person I know so I can cling to them.
It’s worse when I’m meeting people who are younger than me. Because in my mind younger equals cooler. Seriously who am I, some 29 year old, single mom with a kid, who still watches Star Wars at least once a month and reads comics. Soooo, I guess everyone is cooler than me.

What’s so frustrating is I’ve been this way my whole life. You’d think by now I’d have figured out a way to deal with it. You would think that I’d found a way to let out my inner extrovert at the drop of a hat, but I haven’t. It’s always the same:

Friend 1: Staci, this is my friend Bob! I’ve told him all about you!
Staci: Hi Bob, nice to meet you.
Bob: Hi! I’ve heard you’re really funny!
Staci: …Ha! Yeah…
And then silence between me and Bob for the rest of the evening.

You’d think that in that situation maybe it was the expectation of being funny right off the bat, that put me off. But really, I can’t even come up with some lame joke?  So maybe in the situation I was just caught off guard, but then there’s this situation:

Friend 1: Staci, this is my friend Cindy.
Staci: Hi Cindy! How are you?
Cindy: I’m good! Are you having fun at this party?
Staci: I sure am.
Cindy: Great!
And then looking around the room awkwardly. Until I have a second martini then suddenly Cindy and I are best friends. The problem with this is that the next day, even though we friend each other on Facebook, we can’t remember what we talked about or why we connected so well. So at the next party we approach each other awkwardly and make small talk, until we have a second martini and the process repeats.

I don’t like being awkward around new people. I know in my head that they are just people and I don’t have to impress them. But I still find myself totally uncomfortable waiting for the awkwardness to go away so I can be normal again.

I used to think this was something I would grow out of, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I am doomed to be this way forever… I hope not.