Monthly Archives: March 2011

My Story

The big news that I talked about a couple weeks ago has finally come to fruition. I have been published! Well I published myself for free on Kindle Direct Publishing. I published my story called Jude & the Zombies and it’s available for purchase on Amazon’s Kindle store right now!

So if you have a Kindle, an iPad, an iPhone or an android phone you can download a Kindle reader app and read my eBook!

Tell your friends, spread the word!

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Going Organic

I’ve been thinking a lot this week, about many different things. I was torn on what to write about since I’ve been having so many thoughts. But I settled on this one.

I’ve been hearing a lot about food lately. People close to me have been watching things like Super Size Me, Food, Inc., Fat Head and the like. These movies give a closer look at the food we eat, where it comes from and in the case of meats how it’s treated. I have not watched any of these movies and I’ll tell you why. I’m scared.

I know that the food industry is not the shiniest, prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. I fear if I watch those movies my whole lifestyle is going to have to change. I think this because that’s happened for the folks I know who have watched those movies. I can’t help but wonder if ignorance is bliss.

Sometimes after a long day the last thing I want to do is cook an elaborate meal; even a non-elaborate meal seems daunting, so it’s nice to be able to run to Subway, McDonalds or Taco Bell and grab something easy. I’m not saying I forgo grocery shopping and rely solely on these institutions for my family’s eating needs. Not at all! In fact I’d say eighty to ninety-five percent of the time we eat all our meals at home. But on those days when one more chore will push me over the edge it’s nice to have other options.

On the other hand, we all want healthy kids. I would love to go completely organic, knowing that what I’m putting in front of my kiddo is free of disease causing pesticides and hormones. It would also be wonderful to know that the animals live or lived a good, happy life. I’ve never been a meat is murder person, but I love animals. I believe they can be unhappy and I hate to see them abused. So if I could be assured that the milk I’m drinking was given by a happy cow or the chicken I’m eating had as much of a blast at life as a chicken can have, then great! But it’s all so damn expensive. Don’t pretend like it’s not. If you want decent food you have to pay for it. Even when it comes to fruit and veggies. The organic stuff is so much more expensive. There have been times where I stand in front of the organic carts staring at the produce wondering is it really worth it? Is it worth the extra buck? It’s also difficult when you know just around the corner there are Ramen noodles for ten cents.

I know that if I watch those films I will be so disgusted. Not only with the food industry but with myself for buying into it for so long. For swallowing what the world has been feeding me without thinking about it. So I’m left with the question, do I keep on gulping it down and pass that on to my son? Or do I watch them, get informed and make better decisions when it comes to food? That’s a really tough question. Am I willing to change my entire lifestyle and budget to accommodate the inevitably higher grocery costs? I suppose once I actually get up the courage to watch the movies, we’ll find out.

Do it All Over Again

No post this week. I had some ideas until the bf broke up with me on Wednesday and became the ex-bf.

It sucked. I was blindsided. But I’m doing alright. My sissy is amazing and came over to play video games with me, then came over again last night with candy, trashy magazines, ice cream, chips, and Queso.  Later another friend came over with beer.

After talking things through with sissy and my friend I’m feeling better about things. Don’t misunderstand; I was broken up with a mere 3ish days ago. I’m stil pretty bummed, but I can’t really do anything about it, so I’m working on moving on.

Distractions

I realized too late that today is Friday. I’ve been distracted all week by a number of different things, so I don’t have a post. But I will tell you what’s been distracting me, just so you know I’m not sitting around watching Sesame Street all day with the kiddo.

1. My zombie story entitled Jude & the Zombies, and the possible publishing options I have for it. I’m really excited about it, so I’ve been working on it all week trying to get it ready. I’m also reading a novel by Jesse Petersen called Married with Zombies, so I’ve been having nightmares all week. So I’m overworked and tired, but hopefully it will all be for something awesome! I should have more details on that later this week.

2. Just as I give up Facebook for Lent I find a new awesomer website to take up my time, ravelry.com. I’ve been playing on it all week. I’ve started a new project and have several more queued up.

That’s it really. Those two things, one of which is relevant to my writing and one that is relevant to just plain distracting me. Sorry for the lack of a real post. Like I said, later this week I should have some news and more time to write a real post.

Don’t Stop Believing

When is it appropriate to give up? Is giving up a dream ever the right choice? What would cause you to give up on something you’ve put significant time and effort into? I’m not talking about small things. For example, I gave up on being a ballerina because my heart wasn’t in it. I enjoyed dancing and performing that one recital I did, but it didn’t move me. I didn’t feel inspired by it. What I’m talking about is big dreams. Things you’ve wanted since you can remember, something you’ve invested a great chunk of your life in.

Can anyone guess what I’m getting at? If you guessed writing, you are correct. Here’s an oh so brief synopsis of the effort I’ve put into my writing: I started writing at a very young age. Think really little like 5 or 6 I think. I started writing stories about Cat and Dog. They were recurring characters in the “Cat & Dog” stories… imagine that. From the first time I made up a story to now I’ve been writing. I dabbled in angsty poetry in Middle and High School and wrote my first novel length fiction at 24. I’ve been actively pursing publication for about 6 years now with only one tiny nibble of interest. I feel as though I’ve put in a significant amount of effort for little return.

I think maybe I started too late. For one reason or another I never tried to publish anything in my younger years. I think that would have been a good first step, submitting some poetry or something to some teen writing publication. My creative writing teacher was always impressed with my work, so surely it would have been accepted. Then maybe I would have some publishing cred and editors/agents/interns would look more closely at my writing.

Some of you may be thinking, why is being published so important? Shouldn’t writing for yourself be enough if you do truly love writing? Well, yes and no.

If I write and write, who am I writing for? I don’t want to write just for myself. If that were fulfilling enough I wouldn’t have a blog and announce each time it’s updated on Facebook. I’m under the impression that my writing is smart and means something. So naturally I want my writing to reach people. I want people to read not only my blog but my stories. Because there’s some great messages in my stories as well. I want to entertain, I want to make people laugh and think and maybe even cry. I want to invoke the things I’m feeling in others.

Thing is, I feel like I’ve reached a point where there’s not a whole lot more I can do. Aside from spend hundreds, maybe even thousands, of dollars trying to self publish. The reason I shy away from that is because of the money. I have a child to think about after all I can’t go spending away his college tuition on publishing a book that, perhaps, no one will buy. So I’m stuck, sitting here, wondering what I’ve been doing for the last twenty five years of my life. Investing my time in these stories that sit on my computer, collecting virtual dust. But I don’t know if I could ever give it up. My heart is so deeply invested. If you know me well, you know that I can be fiercely loyal, if you get me on your side, I’m pretty much there to stay. It would take a catastrophic event for me to be ripped away. I don’t like giving up, especially when my heart is so entwined, and my identity so connected. I think if I gave up writing I would go off the deep end. Because who I am would be gone. I am a writer, to the very core.